9.2.12

where is the sparkling ?


Sometimes I wonder what is really important in life. I mean, having a great job is fine, a great house, a great car and great clothes, is really fine too, but beyond that what do you have? If you're lucky you could have a great life style, but can you have a great life? I mean, having a great life not always means you must have expensive things, I rather believe you must have some truthiness in your heart. And I know that nowadays nobody really think seriously about feelings, but I like to believe they exist, somewhere, in somebody mind. I've walked around lots of people for the past few years, I've met lots of different people, I've talked with really different people, and sometimes, I'm really amazed by the stories they tell, or by that they have lived, all the passion how they talk about things and experiences, so many amazing adventures around there, it's fascinating to hear... but then I also walk around these other people, a different type, colder, I guess, that don't mind about messing up with others feelings, or really fuck it completely, people that can hurt the others just to get what they want, I rather call them, empty people. And I can't really understand these people, worst than that it hurts me! How can they be like that? With all the fake smiles, fake words, fake feelings? How can they be so, fake? I can't really get them. Of course I'm not a perfect girl, I've been making lots of mistakes along the way, and some of them don't really have an excuse, and I kind of have been moving apart from people, and I serious start to think that is being my fault, but then I wonder, what is really important in life? In my life, I know people are important, but as I said not all the people matters, some of them are just here to mess things up, so why keep them close? Doesn’t make sense, I don't want to get hurt anymore, neither hurt anybody. This is a crap excuse, but I'm starting to get afraid of people, I'm afraid they end by hurting me if I approach to much, because let’s face it, in the end they always end by hurting you, and that's life, we also need to live with that, what I mean is, why try to build something if in the end is all for nothing? Once they told me I'll find my prince charming, well, I've been founding lots of charming creatures, but none of them was really a prince, I mean, a prince wouldn't leave, would he?!... 

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